Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: January 23, 2010
Some of the most difficult burdens a caregiver faces is making decisions about his or her elderly parent. Here is an article that ran in Time’s most recent issue.
Find it at: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1955601,00.html
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: January 10, 2010
One of the worst human tragedies a person can face is a broken promise. I see the consequences of broken promises among some of the folks with whom I work. A family member will make a promise — usually to spend quality time with someone — and the time never comes to pass. I see this especially with elders and children. A failed promise to make the ball game ends in a proverbial, “Next time, I promise.”
Broken promises litter our current landscape because we are facing a shortage of time and resources. Even the once-famous “Promise Keepers” seminars have faded into obscurity because men do not have the time and money to attend as they once did.
The Bible is clear that all of us — men and women — are to be promise keepers. In the New Testament, the letter by James is full of Christian instruction, among them a command to make your “yes be yes” (James 5:12).
This echoes Jesus’ words on the subject in Matthew 5:33-37. Keeping promises is an extension of truth-telling. When we promise something and it does not come to pass, we have lied to another and to ourselves. Keeping a promise is being true to our word. Jesus tells us that when we break promises we are no different than Satan, the Father of Lies.
Breaking our promises can lead to a cascading effect that hinders relational integrity. A repeat offender diminishes trust, and, in many cases, communication withers. When family members break promises with their elders, for instance, guilt sets in. The guilt that one feels actually keeps them away from their loved ones because facing Grandma to apologize is too hard to do. In the face of broken promises, reconciliation becomes elusive.
The teachings of Jesus and letter of James offer an alternative: do not make any oaths whatsoever. The original intent of this command was aimed at Christians working in the civil and legal parameters of society, not necessarily in one’s relationships with loved ones. These two people groups — the young and the old — are people to whom promises must be met. Reliability and predictability reinforce their own sense of value and dignity, and fulfilled promises stress their importance as active contributors to society. We affirm them in the follow-throughs of our yeses and nos. When I make a promise to my daughter and keep it, my integrity empowers her to believe in the best of her father and builds her sense of trust in her little world.
Promises are important because our words are powerful conduits of hope or harm. As a writer and speaker, I know firsthand how much words shape worlds for my audience. In many instances, I craft my words based on my convictions in gospel truth and inclusive ministry. I uphold a form of promises to my readers when I ensure that my language addresses situations appropriately and accurately. Some people call this political correctness, but I call it sensitivity. Politically-correct language can go too far, as anything taken out of moderation can, but it is important to use words that express the fullness of God’s majesty.
Is not our ability to make promises representative of God’s promises to us? God, being the incomparable Promise-Keeper, made covenants throughout the Bible, including the new covenant of Jesus’ death and resurrection. This covenantal God is a model for the covenant-makers in our midst; it would benefit us to keep our promises in ways that honor God’s faithfulness to us.
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: December 28, 2009
I know this article may seem trivial for a caregiver’s spirituality website, but it comes from a website devoted to caregivers.
It is purely a diversion, but interesting and compelling for anyone interested in such flights of fancy.
Read about it at: http://www.seniorsforliving.com/content/article/susan-sarandon-tim-robbins-and-10-more-loves-that-should-have-endured-forever/145/
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: November 10, 2009
Dear U.S. Senator (especially those in Georgia),
I would like for you to take time to consider casting your vote affirming health-care reform in the United States Senate. It is both a historic and significant bill that will, according to my research, lower costs for middle-class families and allow people to get coverage without being denied based on pre-existing conditions. As a Christian, I feel passionate about healthcare reform because it is one of many platforms that allows me to advance a pro-life ethic I believe Jesus and the Bible promote.
Healthcare reform is also important to my family. My father is a small-business owner (has been since he was 21) and is struggling to save for retirement (he lost a small nest egg due to Enron’s collapse), but pays over $12,000 a year for health insurance (for him and my mother). He is what you would consider middle-class and is a sole employee in his business; if he gets sick his business will suffer.
Additionally, if my father were to pass away, my mother will not be able to afford healthcare whatsoever; nor is she of eligible age for medicare.
When we talk of healthcare reform, my father expresses that he does not want free health insurance–that would undermine his sense of dignity, his love for country, and his work ethic. But Dad cannot afford to retire because of the high cost of healthcare.
I’ve heard people say that healthcare reform will limit people’s right to choose their health options, but just several months ago when my father tried to get his insurance company to pay for medication he needed for his heart, the insurance company denied coverage. According to his insurance provider, the medicine is considered “experimental,” whatever that means. That denied my father’s doctor the freedom to treat Dad with the best care available. Mind you, despite this denial, my father still pays on his premiums every month.
Luckily, and much to my father’s relief, the bill the House recently passed does NOT call for a “free” health plan like that of Britain or Canada. On the contrary, the bill calls for reform that will simply bring competition to the market by providing a public option that contains a larger pool of consumers to drive down costs. A simple, no-brainer plan.
This is similar to what my wife–a public school teacher–gets through the state. Her monthly premium is a little over $300.00 for the FOUR of us because there is a larger pool of healthcare consumers, which in turn drives down costs. We have plenty of power to decide who cares for us (the state of Georgia has never intervened in our healthcare decisions), and our health care is both timely and of high quality.
I hope that reform passes in the Senate so that my father, and the millions like him, can have a similar plan to that of our family, that he may maintain his sense of dignity and work ethic, and at least cut his healthcare costs by a fraction (even 20% will help).
(Oh, Did I mention that Dad does not smoke, have any pre-existing conditions, and [despite a temporary heart condition last year] is healthy as an ox? But he still has to pay those exorbitant, out-of-control prices. It makes no sense. )
Passing reform is a natural fit in a nation that prides itself on “family values.” Like regulating automobile safety standards–which the government had to impose–Healthcare reform is something that only a government such as ours can pull off. It is both a moral necessity and a just cause.
Blessings,
Rev. Joe LaGuardia
Conyers, Georgia
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: September 9, 2009
Check out this latest article from Seniors For Living.com:
Blessings,
Joe
