Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: November 10, 2009
Dear U.S. Senator (especially those in Georgia),
I would like for you to take time to consider casting your vote affirming health-care reform in the United States Senate. It is both a historic and significant bill that will, according to my research, lower costs for middle-class families and allow people to get coverage without being denied based on pre-existing conditions. As a Christian, I feel passionate about healthcare reform because it is one of many platforms that allows me to advance a pro-life ethic I believe Jesus and the Bible promote.
Healthcare reform is also important to my family. My father is a small-business owner (has been since he was 21) and is struggling to save for retirement (he lost a small nest egg due to Enron’s collapse), but pays over $12,000 a year for health insurance (for him and my mother). He is what you would consider middle-class and is a sole employee in his business; if he gets sick his business will suffer.
Additionally, if my father were to pass away, my mother will not be able to afford healthcare whatsoever; nor is she of eligible age for medicare.
When we talk of healthcare reform, my father expresses that he does not want free health insurance–that would undermine his sense of dignity, his love for country, and his work ethic. But Dad cannot afford to retire because of the high cost of healthcare.
I’ve heard people say that healthcare reform will limit people’s right to choose their health options, but just several months ago when my father tried to get his insurance company to pay for medication he needed for his heart, the insurance company denied coverage. According to his insurance provider, the medicine is considered “experimental,” whatever that means. That denied my father’s doctor the freedom to treat Dad with the best care available. Mind you, despite this denial, my father still pays on his premiums every month.
Luckily, and much to my father’s relief, the bill the House recently passed does NOT call for a “free” health plan like that of Britain or Canada. On the contrary, the bill calls for reform that will simply bring competition to the market by providing a public option that contains a larger pool of consumers to drive down costs. A simple, no-brainer plan.
This is similar to what my wife–a public school teacher–gets through the state. Her monthly premium is a little over $300.00 for the FOUR of us because there is a larger pool of healthcare consumers, which in turn drives down costs. We have plenty of power to decide who cares for us (the state of Georgia has never intervened in our healthcare decisions), and our health care is both timely and of high quality.
I hope that reform passes in the Senate so that my father, and the millions like him, can have a similar plan to that of our family, that he may maintain his sense of dignity and work ethic, and at least cut his healthcare costs by a fraction (even 20% will help).
(Oh, Did I mention that Dad does not smoke, have any pre-existing conditions, and [despite a temporary heart condition last year] is healthy as an ox? But he still has to pay those exorbitant, out-of-control prices. It makes no sense. )
Passing reform is a natural fit in a nation that prides itself on “family values.” Like regulating automobile safety standards–which the government had to impose–Healthcare reform is something that only a government such as ours can pull off. It is both a moral necessity and a just cause.
Blessings,
Rev. Joe LaGuardia
Conyers, Georgia
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: September 9, 2009
Check out this latest article from Seniors For Living.com:
Blessings,
Joe
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: August 27, 2009
Here is an article on benefits and caregiving:
Blessings,
Joe
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: July 27, 2009
When all is said and done, I know one thing for sure: Caregivers are busy. Caregivers care for others and also attend to children, households, and jobs. They face conflicting burdens: guilt and blessing, unrealistic expectations and failure, joy and depression. With all these ingredients mixing in a giant pot, a caregiver’s well-being begins to falter.
One of my jobs at Trinity is to help connect people with the resources of their faith. In my many interactions with caregivers, I think that Luke 10:38-42 is one of the best resources for a caregiver’s spiritual well-being. You may want to read it before continuing on.
Luke’s story tells of Martha and Mary welcoming Jesus into their home. Welcoming Jesus is an important clue to the entire passage because it shows that hospitality means receiving the very Son of God. Caregivers are hospitable people, and when they welcome another into their lives it is as if they welcome God’s presence. But the story takes a curious turn as Luke reveals Martha’s and Mary’s different methods of showing hospitality. Martha ensures that Jesus is well-cared for, while Mary “listens to Jesus’ word.”
It is natural to think that Mary is doing something that Busybody Martha fails to do; that is, take time to listen to Jesus, but there is more going on in this story. Martha is fulfilling expected obligations that society placed upon women in her time. Mary, however, is defying a gender role by “sitting at Jesus’ feet,” a place reserved for male pupils of rabbinic teachers.
Mary’s peculiar actions throw Martha’s hospitality in bold relief and awaken readers to a deeper meaning. Unlike Mary, Martha lives up to society’s expectations—she is an exceptional caregiver—but is “distracted by many things.” She allows the caregiving role to get in the way of her needs. How many caregivers provide care because they live up to the expectations of either society or family at the detriment of their own needs?
Mary tends to her spiritual needs in an unconventional way. She reminds us that we have a bit of Martha and Mary in us all; it’s just a matter of “practicing,” (as Brother Lawrence once wrote), “the presence of God.” We must balance fulfilling our obligations (Martha) with joining Jesus in a spirit of contemplative reflection (Mary), inviting God to be with us amidst the busyness of our lives.
In the second part of the story Martha challenges Jesus about Mary’s neglect. We get the sense that Martha feels alone in her caregiving, which results in a difficult and necessary question: “Don’t you care?” Martha echoes the inner conflicts of many caregivers, many of whom feel abandoned by family and even by God. Many a caregiver has wondered whether her family cares about her when she is left to do all of the work with her loved one.
Jesus does not lash out against Martha’s forceful challenge. Instead, he is pastoral and says her name twice. This shows that he is sympathetic to her. Martha is honest in her anger with Jesus, and Jesus cares enough to soothingly call her name and welcome her grief into the conversation. There is a strong relationship between Martha and Jesus, and that is the point.
As a pastor, though, Jesus does challenge Martha to make a decision. Will she choose the “good portion” like her sister, even if it means bucking societal expectations at times? Or will she continue to allow her role to consume her at the detriment of her very spiritual well-being?
The fact that we don’t know how Martha responds is important; Luke expects us to “choose our own adventure” by making a decision for Martha. Martha must choose, and so do we.
Posted by: caregiverspirituality on: July 14, 2009
This is a third article of four that focuses on caregivers. You may find sources for this article on the “caregiver resource” page at www.joelaguardia.com.
Becoming a caregiver is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. It can happen overnight or over a long period of time. Either way, many people are simply not prepared to take on the “caregiver” role, especially since the role is one fraught with uncertainty, anxiety, and undo stress.
One of the first and hardest things that face a new caregiver is the transition that happens in a caregiver’s relationship with others, in particular the relationship to a care receiver. This happens when one takes on a different “role” in that relationship.
I have met numerous caregivers that have faced role transitions. Some are adult children that care for an aging parent. In this situation, the relationship changes when the caregiver is forced to do many tasks for the parent that the parent once did for the child. Caregivers suddenly realize that they are like a mother or father to their parents.
Other caregivers provide help to spouses. Role transitions in spousal care shifts expectations, communication, and intimacy. Therefore, mutual love and nurturing suffer and caregivers find that their spouses can no longer meet their relational needs. Confusion, resentment, and numbness set in.
Despite which type of transition takes place, grief is an inevitable by-product because something is “lost” in the relationship between the caregiver and care receiver. Thus, a parent is no longer mom or dad, or a spouse is “not the person that I fell in love with.” And, like any loss, the result is a “living grief” that affects one’s spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Life becomes fractured; there is a general sense of malaise or “lost-ness.”
When grief strikes, different emotions erupt; namely, anger, hostility, and depression. These conflicting emotions can cause caregivers to lash out because they start questioning their ability to care. Caregivers can even act out against other family members, playing the “blame game” to figure out “why has this happened to me?” They ask their families: “Don’t you care for me?”
Lurking underneath all of this, however, is a third cause for grief: Caring for a loved one means coming face-to-face with death. Here, grief tramples over the strongest of hearts when it is only a matter of time before a loved one passes away. Darkness enshrouds the situation, and all hope seems lost.
There is hope. When a caregiver faces the darkness of grief, God promises light even in the most dreadful and hopeless of places. In “Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss and Renewal,” author Beth McLeod argues that role transitions may be unbearable, but can open up avenues of spiritual growth for caregivers. She sees transitions as a rite of passage in which caregivers discover their identity in God. With the appropriate help and guidance, things like uncertainty, grief, and even depression can transform into a radical trust in God.
McLeod also contends that grief is not something for caregivers to deny, but to confront and muddle through. It is like a journey that recalls Psalm 23: “Ye, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.” The suffering Psalter walks through the valley not around the valley, and this valley becomes a place of growth because it also happens to be a place of profound reliance upon God’s presence in the face of death.
If you are a caregiver who finds yourself in the midst of grief, or at least feeling one of the emotions that accompany caregiving, I encourage you to find a trusted guide to help you through your valley, be it a pastor, therapist, or spiritual director. Your goal should be to express your frustrations and sense of lost-ness. Be sure that this is accomplished in a safe and confidential environment that can foster renewed hope and trust in God.
