All names are changed and some literary licenses taken in order to protect identities.  Also, the sources for facts and statistics in this article can be found at www.joelaguardia.com.

In the hot summer of 2007, Luanne poured another round of sweet tea as she told me about how caring for Mother affects her life.  When she places the pitcher of sweet tea on the coffee table and settles back down into her seat, I can see shadows under her heavy-lidded eyes.  But even then she can’t help but to express the pride, joy, and fulfillment she gets from caring for her mother.  “A long weekend of visiting and caring for Mother,” she tells me, “makes me exhausted, but it is rewarding to care for Mother like she once cared for me.”

My friend reflects the deeply embedded feeling that many other caregivers experience: a sense of obligation on the one hand and profound feelings of blessing on the other hand, all because caring seems to be a part of God’s divine purpose.  The act of giving care is just one puzzle-piece in God’s “call” for Luanne’s life.  She takes another sip from her glass of sweet tea and admits, “Taking care of my mother is what I’m supposed to be doing in my life; this is where God has placed me.”

The idea that caregiving can be part of a divine purpose is not unique to Luanne.  One study shows that many caregivers who provide care to others do so because they believe God has a meaningful call upon their lives.   Another caregiver—Cybil— confirmed this when she once told me, “God knew I’d be the primary caregiver to my parents, and it is what God planned for me to do, so I do it.”

To have a sense of God’s “call” upon one’s life—be it a calling centered around an occupation, giftedness, or task—is something that reaches far back into Christian history.  Two influential streams of thought in Christianity relate to “calling.”

The first stems from the biblical historical tradition: In the Bible, God “calls” people to be saved and to join Him to be on mission in the world.

The second comes from the Catholic and Protestant traditions: It was Martin Luther who argued that God calls people to do certain tasks or to practice certain gifts.  Luther once stated that if God calls someone to be a dairy farmer, then when that farmer milks a cow it is as if God is providing drink for the entire world.

No wonder many caregivers feel that they are called to care for others.  They say it is because God has given them the strength—the “calling”—to be there for Mom and Dad during a time of need.

There are, however, some negative consequences to this type of thinking.  Some people think that if they are “called” by God to care for another but are unable to do so, then they have failed God. Guilt sets in.  Other caregivers say, “I feel like I just can’t do enough,” so, along with guilt, there is an overwhelming sense of failure and self-condemnation.   Yet, other caregivers have care receivers who simply tell them that they are not doing enough, especially if a care receiver is suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s and can’t remember what his caregiver did for him 5 minutes ago.

In order to escape these ruts, it is important to balance a belief in “divine calling” with a healthy dose of boundary-setting.  Sure, God may have put you in a position to care for a loved one, but God does not expect you to care for others at the expense of caring for yourself.  And, yes, there are times when you feel like you can “do more,” but you are certainly not God; just consider that even the little things make a difference.  Nor are we all world-changers, but if we follow a life of prayer and self-care, we can realize that when we provide care to the best of our abilities, it is as if we are caring for the entire world.